D is for electro pt. II

As we all hungrily await that highly overrated piece of firmware called iPhone OS 3.0, the only cure for our shaky hands, twitchy eyeballs and 3a.m. cold sweats is a bomb-ass remix.

Luckily the Candyman came to visit me today. His prescription was drastic, but necessary. He scribbled, in barely legible English, a concoction of The Commodores laced with some gritty distortion, soulful synths, charming disco harmonies and a pinch of Amoxicillin. No Ms. Poppins, you were wrong. A spoonful of sugar does NOT help the medicine go down bitch, not when you have Dorkatronique doing a remix. The guy is a fucking walking sugar cube. If i wasn’t worried about making a bad impression when we bumped into one another at Festival First Night i would’ve licked his glucosey armpits, then snapped off his left earlobe to drop in my coffee the next morning.

Mama told me life is like a sugar-based DJ. Was she right?

The Commodores – Lady (Dorkatronique Remix) (zshare link)

D is for electro

Dorkatronique is a Sydney-based electro DJ making his mark with remixes banging like a horny puppy over pantyhose.

I met him recently without even realising. It was at the 2009 Sydney Festival First Night, buried deep in the Busy P/DJ Mehdi crowd (again, after seeing their Oxford Art Factory show days before. Yes, I’m an Ed Banger whore).

I hopped around Macquarie Street, lathered in mostly other people’s sweat, and found him huddled next to some mates. We got to talking.

“There’s something missing from Busy P’s set,” Dorkatronique said.
“I know what you mean, but I can’t put my finger on it!” I shouted back.
“It needs something,” he added.
“It’s just not dirty. P isn’t dirty enough, is he?” I added, wiping the sweat from my eyeballs.
“That’s it! It’s not dirty enough!”
We high-fived like Urkels and kept dancing, waiting for Mehdi to start.

I was later informed the bespectacled dude I spoke to was none other than Dorkatronique.

Here's one of his remixes, probably formulated during a wet dream:

Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream (Dorkatroniques Dirty Dream Remix)

If you don’t see him traipsing Sydney streets looking for dirty electro, check out his MySpace – there’s a downloadable mixtape featuring shit from Jamie Lidell, Spank Rock and Crookers, among other cool cats.