Friday 5 September 2008

Bibliotheque Discotheque

Friday 5 September 2008

Dear Hipster Record Store Clerk,

Thank you for judging me on the CD I bought yesterday. Our passive-aggressive altercation made me realize how conformist I am for buying an old Rage Against The Machine album. Your condescension was just the intellectual wake-up call I needed.

I discovered a new me yesterday, and my eyes were opened in a new way. Thanks to you, I realize now that the key to enlightenment is reading Pitchfork, watching High Fidelity, listening to Velvet Underground, having a tattoo of a star on the inside of my wrist, growing an ironic mustache, living in the Mission, and wearing a too-small sweater, multi-colored 70’s ski-vest, chunky plastic-frame glasses, a high school sports T-shirt, air-tight black jeans, and Nixon-era Chuck Taylors.

I had it all wrong, man. You showed me that a skilled job and a comfortable living is just a lie. I need to go to art school, have my parents pay my rent, join a Joy Division-influenced band, and wait for a record deal, like you. I’m totally missing out in life.

So thanks again for mocking me. I mean, at first I thought you were just a pathetic, frustrated musician trying to feel better about yourself. But now I see you’re an uncompromising visionary.

No one will ever understand you. You’re so different.


Everyone Not Like You

Amy Winehouse - The tears dry on their own (New Young Pony Club Mix)

Kano - I'm Ready

Sally Shapiro - Hold me so tight (The Cansecos Mix)

Only Freak - Can't Get Away (Solid Groove Mix)

DCUP - Biblio Disco (Mixtape for Rubicon)


Anonymous said...

You made me laugh so hard for a minute!

Anonymous said...


good laugh.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, thank you for that :)

LaWeez Hynes said...

This is fucking marvellous.

Tartarian wolf eagle said...

haha. reminds me of buying art materials from the pretentious dbags at oxford art supplies.